My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
handjob tips. give me some.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
