You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
