3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
