I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
