Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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