Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
