Well douche your snatch and let's go!
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
