so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My ass is underappreciated
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
