If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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