it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
