Can i not drive my cunt home
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
