Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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