I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The beer is more important than you right now.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
