She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
