my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Alive.
So much puke
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
