Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
