Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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