just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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