he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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