me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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