i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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