therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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