If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
