That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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