I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
