dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
