Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
