I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize
