Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
