I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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