A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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