I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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