biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
