he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
