do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
