dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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