One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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