So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
