The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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