I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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