Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
