Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
