i don't like sucking hair
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
