There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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