I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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