I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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