I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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