is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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