At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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