This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
