ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
They took my balls.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Congratulations! We have a period
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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